On becoming the lazy bastard I was meant to be

Sal finds me back in bed at 9:00am. I got up at 5am and started working. He’s been on an early conference call with China. When he’s done he creeps up the stairs to see me there, curled up. With the cat. (After a few hours of work, I’d made a dramatic retreat.) “What are you doing?” he asks. “I’m relaxing.” “What do you mean?” “I’m not doing anything, I’m just relaxing.” The look on Sal’s face read: DOES NOT COMPUTE: Heidi does not sit still. “This is my job now, Sal.” I explain, “I don’t do jack shit now. Everyone is telling me to chill the fuck out so guess what. I’m chilling out. This is what the cats do all day. They’re teaching me how.” “You’re not even going to read a magazine?” “Nope.” “You’re not even going to check emails?” “Will you help me roll the cookie dough into balls?” “Nope.” adult stories “Will you come and join me in the garden?” “Nope. All I do now is ride bikes and then sit around. This is it. This is me for the next month. This is me not stressing out. This is me staying healthy. I have enough work to keep me pleasantly busy through June. I’m telling everything else to screw off.” “But you have to do something! This is NOT LIKE YOU.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12x-1ZGgxkY